Did You Account for the Offending Tail?

My face was blank as I stared at him because I was not completely sure whether I should laugh or cry, and I felt too off-kilter to do either.

His promotional spiel was of the sort that inspires incredulity. Let’s face it, to stand before a congregation, seated in a church that has obvious infrastructural challenges, and make an appeal for contributions toward the building of a 30 million dollar edifice, not their own… well – that takes a ‘special’ kind of gumption.

How could a sane adult be so utterly oblivious?

When you walk through the front door, it is hard to miss the aging paint, outdated windows, mismatched pews or the sagging, discoloured cellotex in the ceiling above the podium that spoke of water damage in recent history. Did he, in fact, have a pair of spectacles left at home?


I listened as the visiting elder sought to rally the unenthusiastic flock to his cause and I wondered whether things were getting a bit desperate in his neck of the woods. It is a dangerous thing to attempt to build before counting the cost (Luke 14:28). He may not have heard, but our Jamaican forebears left us this bit of ancient wisdom:

“Monkey mus know weh im aguh put im tail before im order trouziz.” (Literal translation: The monkey must know where he is going to put his tail before he orders a pair of trousers/pants)

You see, trousers were never designed to accommodate tails that trend upward, which is what monkeys possess. If a monkey – for the sake of argument – wanted to obtain a pair, it would be necessary to take his tail into account and adjust the design to facilitate an opening in the back seam. Any move to the contrary would give rise to untold discomfort and grief.

It would appear that the planning committee in question miscalculated the reach of the offending ‘tail’ in their $30M plans and, when the wealthy turns to the peasant for assistance, I believe it is time for a re-draft of that trousers pattern.

Here’s to paying close attention to that ‘R’ in our SMART goals. #RealityCheck

Whatever you are building today, take all things into account. Build in installments, if necessary, but do not get caught with your trousers down.

A word to the wise should prove more than sufficient. 😉



Featured image from Pixabay (CC0 Public Domain)

One thought on “Did You Account for the Offending Tail?

  1. Hahahahahahaha. Oh man. You’re funny. And he was..slightly lost! Did he not look at the sheep he was talking to!? sigh They need to go back and find out how to cut costs!

    Liked by 1 person

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