The ‘Flow’ of Sloppy Service and the Silly Season

Third World Internet issues.

These four words explain my mysterious departure from Internet Land for the past week.

My service provider’s byline declares ‘This is how we Flow’ but, for those of us viewing those non-flowing modem lights, the  irony is staggering. Throw in unanswered calls  to the local office, as well as toll-free customer support that does a truly remarkable re-enactment of the confusion at Babel’s Tower, and you would be forgiven for thinking that Satan himself was the mastermind behind the altar to unprofessionalism that is FLOW.

If this is how these folk flow, we need an alternative because we are down to a trickle here.

Alas, alternatives are in short supply on this little corner of JamRock, which is why companies can afford to dish out disgustingly sour service (if it can – in truth – be considered ‘service’) and get away with it.

Ah yes… welcome to Jamaica, man.

Tap water has disappeared and the only things flowing in this corner of the island are motorcades with vuvuzela-blowing fanatics hanging out windows, who are high on the orange ‘Kool-Aid’ and ‘green juice’ offered by the major political parties. Election Day is scheduled for February 25, 2016 and the silly season is in full effect.

Warnings from the security forces have had no more effect than the bite of a dog with soft rubber teeth. This is no surprise, really, since a consistent failure to arrest and discipline the offenders suggests a lack of seriousness on the part of the law ‘enforcers’.

SMH does not even begin to convey my utter and complete incredulity.

I observe the Election shenanigans from the periphery, as usual, and there will always be those who disagree with my stance. That is perfectly fine. Fundamentalist fire-and-brimstone preachers don’t move me and neither will party adherents with misplaced evangelistic fervour.

Revoke my Jamaican card, if you will, but the Constitutional right to cast a ballot also implies the right not to. Any and all attempts to force, sideline or snipe at those who choose to stay away are blatant infringements upon the fundamental rights of Jamaican citizens.

Tomorrow, as it is in every General Election, Jamaicans in every constituency will choose the person who will sit in Parliament as their representative. As a direct consequence of this action, like it or not, the leader of the party with the most members of Parliament will be installed as Prime Minister.

It is my observation, that Jamaicans have flip-flopped from one party to the next, swapping black dog for monkey, over my 42 years of existence and have achieved very little, as a nation. Then again– if more criminality is a ‘thing’; then, there is that.

Maybe we should form a coalition with the sober individuals from each side and be done with this divisive rubbish that flies in the face of our nation’s Motto.

Tomorrow will come and go, as all days do. The votes will be counted, there will be winners and losers, and – hopefully – no bloodshed. Whatever the outcome, trials will continue to be part and parcel of the human experience. We can choose to find creative solutions, finding joy above the fray, or we can choose not to.

I choose joy.

So, as the masses flow toward polling stations tomorrow decked out in their colour of choice, my family will not be among them. We will be kicking back on hubby’s day-off, enjoying the melody of soothing hymns, playing Scrabble and discussing creative ways to thrive on the devalued currency of the Third World.

Yeah man… This is how we flow. 😉

One Love.


*Featured image source: Pixabay (CC0 Public Domain)

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